Last Words

Sophomore year has by far been one of my roughest years yet. I have been through things this year that I would have never dreamed in my worst nightmares. As if the constant stress of school isn’t enough, I have had to deal with the loss of two of the most important people in my life. Losing my Granddaddy and Aunt Debbie has completely changed my life. Not only have I doubted myself to the point of despair, but I have doubted my faith- one thing that my Granddaddy and Aunt Debbie would not tolerate. However, I have also leaned on my faith like never before this year, and that scares me a little; I’ve never really been one to depend on others. However, leaning on God has helped me like never before. I find myself constantly asking why He took them away, but then I remember all that He has still blessed me with, all of the people that are still here. I cannot even begin to count the number of people that I have pushed away this year, and I have no one to blame but myself. I truly do have the greatest family and friends that a girl could ask for; they mean everything to me. Exams are also coming up and I have just found out that I tore my ACL. I hate that I have  to have surgery, but I hate the thought of not being able to use my knee more. I can’t imagine not playing soccer, marching in band, or even just swimming. Although this year hasn’t been the best, I sure do have a lot to be grateful for. I have learned that faith can take you a long way, if you have it. The challenges and trials that I have been through this year will only help me grow into a much stronger person in the end, into the person that I want to become.  

One-Word Essay: Grief

There is no escaping grief; it is something that every human being will eventually have to experience. It is never-ending, its effect everlasting. There are some days where everything is perfectly okay, and others where nothing seems to help. Memories are what make grieving so hard, yet it is the main thing keeping you sane. The constant struggle of wanting to see your loved ones again becomes so overwhelming that at times it is unbearable. However, reminiscing on the cherished memories is the only thing that you can hold onto. Grief is something that can swallow you whole if you let it. It’s like a huge black hole that keeps sucking you in, even though you are trying with all of your might to get out; it conquers you. You try to carry on as if everything is all right, but it all becomes too much. That once care-free smile somehow turned into something forced. The sense of joy that you used to feel slowly starts to drift away and all that’s left is darkness. Trying to seem okay suddenly overwhelms you to the point of despair. Everything that you once knew, you begin to question. However, even when you’re at your most vulnerable, there is an answer: God. When that black hole is sucking you in, it is Him who pulls you out. The heartache over your lost loved ones will never go away fully, but God can help ease that pain. He can take that pain and turn it into motivation, and from that motivation, you will find strength in yourself that you never even knew you had before. You’re going to want to just give up at some point, but God won’t let you. If you let Him, He will be there every step of the way, lifting you with His love. Although at times you may feel alone, He is still there for you to lean on. Don’t let grief defeat you; defeat the pain yourself, with the help of God.