Granddaddy's Girl

Ever since I can remember, I have always been a Granddaddy's girl. When I was little, I would spend all day at my grandparent's house while my parents were both working. There wasn't a time that I wasn't over there; it was literally like my second home. There are so many memories that I have with my Granddaddy. I would help him build things, go to Bojangles or Timberland with him every morning, and take rides with him in his big truck. Those are only a couple of the million things that we used to do together. Of course I would spend a lot of time with my Grandma, helping her cook, clean, do crossword puzzles, sew, etc., but most of the time I would be with my Granddaddy. I remember when he would come to my house, pick me up by my feet and swing me around and around. It feels like that was just yesterday.

Every day after school, I would go straight to my grandparent's house and get my Grandma to fix me some pancakes and bacon. As soon as I got done, I would go crawl up in my Granddaddy's lap and watch Judge Joe Brown with him. He was a truck driver, so sometimes he would be out on his trips but as soon as he was home, I would run straight up to his truck and give him a huge hug. I cherish the little moments like this that I used to have with him. As I got older, I still tried to visit my grandparent’s every day. You see, they live right up the hill from me. All of my family lives around my grandparents and my Granddaddy even put up a sign that says, “Dillonsville.” I honestly wouldn't have wanted to grow up any other way.

Sadly, about two months ago, cancer took my Granddaddy away from me. I have had a really hard time dealing with this. He was my best friend, my hero, and the person that taught me everything I know. When he left me, I honestly felt like a part of me left with him. It’s still really hard to think that I can’t walk up to the porch and talk with my Granddaddy anymore or walk down to the pond and go fishing with him. I miss him every second of every day, but I have faith that God will get me and the rest of my family through this. After all, faith is the only thing that I’m holding on to right now. 

Live each moment like it's your last, because it just might be.

At some point in life, everyone loses someone that they love. It doesn't mean that you have to be okay with the situation or that you have to like it, but you can't do anything about it. Death can be expected or unexpected, but either way it doesn't make it any easier. To be honest, you can't really become immune to death. It's like a baby when they are first born, they become sick so easily because they aren't immune to anything. When someone important passes away in your life it's feels like someone punches you right in the gut every time, or at least that's how I feel. No amount of time is ever going to make it okay. Time may make it easier, but it will never fully take away the pain. Most people don't understand the pain that someone is going through until it happens to them. I know I didn't.

When someone close to you passes away, it changes your perspective on life a lot. You realize that you shouldn't waste your time on things that don't matter. There is no need to care about certain things or people that could care less about you. The only people you need in your life are the people that need you in their's. It also makes you realize that you need to not dwell in the past, but live in the present and create a better future for yourself. You are here and you are healthy. There are people everyday that are struggling to survive and then there are others of us complaining over pointless things. Sometimes, we all forget how truly blessed we are.

Death is a huge part of life whether we want it to be or not. Life is a funny thing. It's almost like there's a "catch" to it. You get to have a life, but you and the people you love will eventually have to leave. The one thing that keeps me going is to know that I will eventually see all of my loved ones again someday. I don't know everyone else's perspective on religion, but I do know mine. I know that God is going to be there for me through everything. I know that no matter where life takes me, I will always be able to depend on Him. When I feel as if I can't go on anymore, He is there to pick me up. That's what keeps me going through life, knowing that I will one day be able to see my loved ones again and knowing that God is going to be there with me through it all. He is my refuge and my rock to lean on when it all just becomes too much. It's like my Aunt Debbie and my Granddaddy always told me, "God has a plan and if you trust in Him, everything will be just fine." I remind myself of that everyday. We all have to go out and enjoy life every single day and live like there's no tomorrow, because you never know if there will be.